You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
This is the prime rib incident all over again
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
