Dual....:-)
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
