i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
