sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
