oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
