well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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