I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
