Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
even my farts smell like vagina
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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