someone owes me an orgasm
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
