All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
