I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
