fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
