last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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