so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
