Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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