I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
