North Korea, Best Korea!
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
We have started to decorate penises.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
