The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
