I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
