just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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