Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize