oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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