Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
