you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize