you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
