I smell stomach acid.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
