Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
