1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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