I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
