doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
