Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
