May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
