would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
