he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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