Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
