I must be too annoying 4 u.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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