There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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