Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.

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(773): View more from Illinois

If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.

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(425): View more from Washington

He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.

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(206): View more from Washington

No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.

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(773): View more from Illinois

He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.

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(818): View more from California

Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it

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(203): View more from Connecticut

You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"

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(518): View more from New York

Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.

(1-518): View more from New York

Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.

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