I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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