i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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