it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
