Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
