guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
