It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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