I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
