everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
