Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
