they need to just BURY HIM!
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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