And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
