Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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