i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
