carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Randomize
