is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize