Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Did we literally take a cab across the street
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize