whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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