i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize