I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize