Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
