You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
